um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
