I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
