I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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