i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
