I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
There are leaves in my underwear?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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