I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize