I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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