I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
