my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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