I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
