Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
