Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
