she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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