If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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