return my video game
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
