I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
