i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
