Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
