Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
