We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
