1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i barfeds in our rink
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
