he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
