I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
