dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
