how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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