The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
