Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
