I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
