ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
