Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
