The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
