after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
