That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
