so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I want her autograph on my taint
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
