we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
