Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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