I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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