check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
