your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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