turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
