He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
