May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
