You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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