yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I touched a dick in church today
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
