By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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