I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
