I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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