found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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