As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i think i just lost a toe
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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