I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
